Who is the most Emo one of all?
by Sukii-Sama
Summary: When Shikamaru informes Sasuke of the rumors surrounding his place as top emo character, Sasuke seekes out Pein to prove who is the most emo. A battle ensues. For Honor! For Revenge! For Angst!


S-S: Well, this really is a change. Anyways, this was originally a skit for a costplay performance that me and two of my friends did for the Ani-Jam convention. It was written by my friend Lucca, who goes by Lana in Taka of Oz.

I don't own Naruto. Enjoy!

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><p>Sasuke Uchiha was gloomily walking through the forests on the outskirts of the fire country. All of a sudden, Shikamaru appeared out of nowhere. Sasuke was shocked and quickly assumed a fighting stance, but the lazy advisory simply yawned and leaned against a nearby tree.<p>

"Come on, aren't you gonna fight me?" Sasuke demanded.

Shikamaru shrugged, "And why would I want to do that?"

Sasuke was confused, "Because… I'm Sasuke! I'm the ultimate emo bad guy!"

"Yeah sure, ultimate emo bad guy, as if"

"What do you mean, as if!"

"Well, rumor has it that Akatsuki's Pein is way more emo than you. You're practically cheerful in comparison." Shikamaru yamed again and disappeared, leaving Sasuke to fume.

"Me? Cheerful? NEVER!" Sasuke yelled angrily, "This _will_ _not _stand! I'll show this Pein just how emo I can be!" And with those words, he stormed off to find his opponent.

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><p>Not so very far away, near the Akatsuki Secret Hidden Lair That Must Never Ever Be Found Under Any Circumstance, Pein was sitting on the ground. He was applying eyeliner and holding a hand mirror, humming a cheerful tune as he went about this task.<p>

Sasuke appeared from the trees and ninja rolled into the open. He jumped up, "PEIN!"

Pein stood up, startled, dropping the makeup. He quickly regained his composure, and adopted a classic Evil Overlord Pose™, "Uchiha Sasuke, I was expecting you." He said, sure of himself.

"You were?" Sasuke asked, confused.

"Yes, I knew you'd come, because of the, well you know, of course!" Pein stumbled.

"Yes I do know!" Sasuke yelled, "And I wont stand for it, Pein!"

Pein strode forward dramatically, "I'm afraid it's not your decision to make, Uchiha. I _will_ destroy Konoha, regardless of your wishes."

"If you think you can just!-wait," Sasuke was confused, "Konoha? You're going to destroy Konoha?"

Pein blinked, "Yes, isn't that what this is about?"

"No!" Sasuke cried, "This is about the lies you've been spreading about me!"

"Lies? The umm, yes the lies! Well I stand by them.. whatevertheywere.." Pein muttered the last bit.

Sasuke ignored it, "Well, let me just say, that ther is no way some one like you could be more emo than me, Preppy Boy!"

"What! Who are you calling preppy boy, cockatoo head! If you're so emo, prove it!" Pein yelled.

Sasuke smirked confidently, "For starters, I never smile unless I'm being evil. And I have black hair that I style wildly so as to set myself apart from everyone else."

"Hah! That's nothing. Constant gloom is the bare basics of emoness. And as for my hair, its dyed bright red.

"Well I'm forced to lead a lonely life because I abandoned my friends for the sake of…._revenge_!"

"I'm was forced to _kill_ my best friend, which sent me on a dizzying spiral of guilt and despair!"

"My brother was forced to kill our _entire_ clan! Something I didn't find out until after I had killed him for…._revenge_!"

"My parents were killed right in front of me, and with no other relatives, I was forced to scavenge the streets as a starving child!"

"I..I can have emo looking tattoos!" Sasuke floundered desperately.

"Please," Pein replied, "I have all sorts of emo piercings in very _painful_ places."

Sasuke pulled out a sheet of paper, "I WRITE EMO POETRY!"

Pein whipped out a thick book, "I have a whole book of emo poetry!"

"I.. I …." Sasuke stuttered.

"I think it's safe to say I've won, hmm?" Pein smirked triumphantly.

"This isn't over yet Pein! I'm so emo… I'm gonna… I'm gonna kill myself right now!" Sasuke pulled out a kunai and held it to his throat.

Pain was shocked, "Oh.. oh yeah? Well not if I kill myself first!" he yelled, drawing his on kunai.

The two both slit their throats. As they lay dying, Pein muttered, "Who's…. emo… now, Uchiha?"

Sasuke retorted, "Don't… make….me..bleed on…you…Preppy…Basterd…"

The two both die in a pool of blood. Shikamaru appeared from the trees, having watched the whole scenario. He surveyed the whole scene and said with confidence, "Just as planned…"

FIN. Konoha is saved! Hallelujah!


End file.
